what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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