he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
