You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
