all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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