How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
