So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize