when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
