I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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