I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
