I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Randomize
