Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
