no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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