So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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