When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i drank out of a bidet.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
