she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
