I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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