a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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