Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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