Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
