Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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