sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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