Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
