Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Randomize
