Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
