On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
