Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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