So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Those nachos came to me in a dream
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
