you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
