dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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