yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
