I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
