Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
