No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
