Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
