we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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