so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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