Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
