just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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