i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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