I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Randomize
