Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
