I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize