I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
