I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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