i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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