And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
