whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Who died my cat blue again?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
