Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
