PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
