I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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