So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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