yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
