we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
