I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
