# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Buhtt sex?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
