I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize