What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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