if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
