Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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