I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
