im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize